


Let go.

by Renezinha



Series: Nimmy AUs. [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Character(s) death, Feel so cruel!, Illustrated, M/M, Suicide, Why did i write this!, gah!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:58:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6595753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renezinha/pseuds/Renezinha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/>Zombie Apocalypse AU featuring Nick and Jimmy Novak.</p>
</div><br/><div class="center">
  <p>
    <br/>
    <b>[Art made by me in Chapter 2.]</b>
    <br/>
  </p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't a big deal. It _wasn't_ supposed to be a big deal.

Travelling from a camp to the other to get supplies had been Nick and Jimmy's routine for quite a while now, not long after the world ended, and besides a few close encounters with the dead, they had never faced the problems they are facing right now.

There was this...huge herd of them blocking the road they usually use to get to the nearest camp and all detours around the same road seemed to be swarmed as well.

There were few of them in the woods though and that's where they were headed to.

 

“Jimmy, you still with me?” Nick shouted, taking the lead, swinging his blade, cutting through two dead at the same time, leaping backwards to sink the sharp, pointy end into the first's head and then into the second's. “Jimmy!”

“Stop yelling!” Jimmy tried not to shout back, keeping his voice down, knowing the blond had heard him nonetheless. They couldn't afford to attract more dead and risk being swarmed.“Why are there so many of them today anyway?” The man looked behind and quickly swung his knife, stabbing yet another dead one right on the face. “God...there's just...no end to them. We'll never make it. We should go back while we can.”

“We can't.” Nick walked towards the other man with long strides, his icy blue eyes automatically checking his body for any injuries, ignoring the eye roll Jimmy gave him in return. “Bobby will die if we don't get the medicine from camp Chitaqua and you know it. Old man doesn't have a lot time...you heard what Dr Rosen said.”

Jimmy huffed. “Becky's not even a real doctor.”

“But she has the knowledge. She healed your broken arm, remember?” Said Nick, lifting a brow. “Come on. How many times has Bobby saved all of our asses? We **owe** him.”

Of course Jimmy knew that...but after seeing that large group of dead blocking their way, he was kind of scared. Freightened, even. Not that he'd let Nick see it, mind you. Nick was the epitome of bravery, the man had risked his life countless times...and though Jimmy loved him, loved the side of him that would stop at nothing to help others, he also hated it.

He's afraid Nick's going to get himself killed one of these days. And then what? How is he to live in a whitering world without the person he cares about the most?

If only Nick would put himself first sometimes and stop being so reckless...

“Jimmy. Baby?” Nick stepped forward and brought a hand up to caress Jimmy's cheek. “No need to be afraid. I will protect you.”

Frowning, knowing his cheeks were going pink with embarrassment, Jimmy gently swatted the blond's hand away, and tucked his knife into his pocket belt. “M'not afraid. Let's go...before it gets dark.”

Smirking, Nick nodded and let Jimmy take the lead for now.

 

When the height of the sun signaled noon, a couple hours later, both men stopped by an abandoned warehouse right in the outskirts, east of the main road, surrounded by tall grass and tall trees. After making sure no one was around, no dead either, Nick forced the old building's door open, letting out a low whistle at the black car inside. It was a classic. A black Chevy...from the 60's if Nick's to make an educated guess.

“Will you look at that...think it works?”

Jimmy stood beside him, taking a quick look at the car before losing interest, seeming more interested about securing the perimeter. “Looks like it has been in here for years.”

“Yeah. Maybe i can make it start.” 

“Don't get your hopes up too high.” Jimmy said, looking outside, turning his head to the left after he thought he had heard something. “Be right back.”

“Okay. Be careful.”

Nick circled the vehicle, walking towards the driver's door, and after a few pushes at the handle, he managed to open it. Damn thing sure was rusty. He hoped the engine wasn't.

 

Jimmy walked to the back of the building, still following the strange noise, and when he saw a large group of dead heading his way, he panicked, fumbling with his pocket holder, trying to get the knife out. The damn thing seemed to be stuck or something and he had no other option but to reach for the gun.

Guns were used as last resort because, not only ammo was scarce, but the noise would attract more and more of them every time a shot was fired.

“Fuck...fuck!”

 

Nick looked quite pleased with himself when he found the key tucked into the visor. “Awesome.” But before he could even try it, he heard the gunshots. His immediate reaction was to duck and hide but when he didn't see anyone coming through the wide open doors, his thoughts immediately went to Jimmy.”Shit!”

He leaped out of the car, jerking his gun from the holster attached to his right leg, and rushed outside. “Jimmy? Jim-...fuck!” Nick saw the herd first, his eyes quickly finding the other man struggling to break free of a dead's grasp. And where the hell had they come from?! The area seemed to be clear minutes ago!

“Jimmy!” His arm rose up and he pulled the trigger, killing one, two, three dead threatening to swarm his lover. “ Move!” He didn't have a clear shot, he needed Jimmy to move a little so he could shoot it down. “Come on!”

“Son of a bitch's too strong...” But Jimmy eventually managed to push the decaying body away. And that's when Nick unloaded the last two rounds on it. When he should have used just one. Just one had been enough.

Ammo's precious, sure, but so is Jimmy's life.

“Come on!” Nick rushed to him and grasped his arm. “Into the warehouse.”

“W-what...?” Jimmy let out a grunt of pain when Nick grabbed his arm like that but he followed the blond into the building anyway. More dead ought to be coming their way after they both used their guns.

Both men quickly stepped into the building and Nick rushed to close the doors, using a large, rusty dumpster filled with only God knows what, to block them. It was heavy, it was all that mattered. The dead couldn't get inside at least.

And it was a good thing the only windows in the place were too high, not even he and Jimmy could reach them, let alone those putrid lifeless bodies.

They were an excellent watch post though. If only they could find a ladder somewhere.

Jimmy dragged himself to a pile of crates and slumped into them, letting out a heavy sigh, feeling the sharp pain running up his arm. He was trying not to panic, he really was...but the moment he pulled his sleeve up and saw the blood pouring out of the wound...he nearly stopped breathing.

Because of the rush of adrenaline, he hadn't even felt it before, but now...

He had been **bitten**.

Fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

“Nick....” Jimmy called out to the blond, his voice barely above a whisper.

“We'll have to stay in here for a while.” Nick started, hands on his hips, hearing the dead outside trying to get in, loud thuds and groans echoing throughout the place. “Wait until they lose interest and spread out...fuck.”

“Nick.”

“Something had to draw their attention, been a while since we had to deal with a herd...a herd this huge, at least.”

“Nick!”

“What?” The blond turned around, his eyes quickly darting to the blood in his lover's arm. 

Nick froze.

He really wanted to think it was just a scratch. Scratches are normal, scratches are safe, sort of safe, but deep down Nick knew. He knew. “Is that...” Nick approached Jimmy and gently grabbed his arm with trembling hands, breath catching when he saw the shape of the wound.

It was a bite mark.

Seeing the blank expression on his face, Jimmy lowered his gaze, his first tears streaming down his cheeks. “I'm sorry.”

But Nick wasn't saying anything yet. His survival instinct eventually kicked in and he teared the arm of his jacket to improvise a bandage. Seeing this, Jimmy sobbed, shaking his head. “It's pointless...and you just ruined your favorite jacket.”

“Shut up. Gotta ...gotta stop the bleeding. See? Won't stop bleeding.”

Nick carefully cleaned the wound and then wrapped the sleeve around Jimmy's arm, making sure the knot was tight enough.

“Nick.”

Nick met Jimmy's gaze and the dark haired man felt his heart clench when he saw his lover's beautiful blue eyes clouded by tears. “We...we both know what you'll have to do.” He said, reaching for his gun and handing it to the blond. “It's my fault, i shouldn't...”

“Shut up.” Nick mumbled, ignoring the gun, not even wanting to look at it right now.

“I feel so stupid.” Jimmy continued, lowering the firearm. “I used to be so scared you might die, scared you might leave me...because of all of those ridiculous stunts you pull out! And now...i'm- “ He sobbed, on the verge of starting to hyperventilate, when he felt Nick's hand on his cheek. “Now i'm leaving you.”

“Jimmy.”

“It's my fault, i'm going to die and it's my fault.”

The blond pulled the other man for a hug and squeezed his eyes shut so tight, that the tears that had formed in there started pouring out. “You're not leaving me.”

“Nick...” Jimmy was crying in earnest now, a fist closed in his lover's shirt.

“You're not leaving me and i am not leaving you either.”

Sniffling, the youngest pulled away just a little and looked up at him. “What do you mean? Nick, there's...there's no other way. You have to ki-”

“No.” Nick pressed a finger against Jimmy's lips, forcing him to shut up. “Don't say it, please, just don't.”

“I don't want to turn.” He said, sounding rather firm. Jimmy was afraid of dying, he truly was, but that's not even what he fears the most. Turning into a mindless monster was far worse than death...and there's just no way he will turn into one of them.

He can't.

“I will do it myself if you don't, Nick.” Jimmy started to pull away from the blond's embrace but Nick was having none of it, not letting him go far. “Be reasonable! The people in camp, they need you. They don't need me, they never did. You're...you're the hero, i am barely a sidekick.” He tried to laugh but what came out of his lips was a broken whimper.

“I love you. Jimmy, there's no me if there's no you.”

“That's...”Jimmy sighed, shaking his head, resigning to stay in his lover's embrace. “That's just something you read on a book. Romanticism died the moment the world died.”

“I don't care. It's what i feel, i don't care if a book said it first.” Nick was heartbroken. He was scared too, mostly scared, but deep down he had accepted his fate a long time ago. Even if Jimmy didn't agree to it. It's not like he needs his consent anyway.” I love you, always did...even when you were happily married to that whore.” He snorted, remembering Amelia, his lover's late wife. He had never liked the woman and he is sure she had never liked him much either. “Already told you, little sheep.” And he had to smile fondly at the pet name he used to call Jimmy before the world went to shit. “I am not leaving you. We are in this together.”

“No, Nick-”

“Whether you like it or not.”

Sighing, Jimmy leaned forward, resting his head on Nick's shoulder. “You're such an assbutt. A stupid...reckless, dumb assbutt.”

“Sounds like me, yeah.” Nick said, wrapping his arms around Jimmy, holding him close.

“I don't want to turn.” The man repeated, silently crying against his lover's shoulder. “Promise me you won't...let it get to that.”

  
[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=1251748)   


“I won't.”

 

Nick held Jimmy the entire time, not even caring about the pain in his back and joints. He could still hear the dead outside...but not as loud as before. Perhaps they had finally lose interest and were starting to leave.

Not that it mattered anymore anyway.

Nick only regretted he never got to bring Bobby his medicine.

An hour later, or was it two?, he felt Jimmy's body burning up against his. His stomach churned. His lover was going through the first symptoms already. Fever...then paranoia and then...

Jimmy shivered, clinging to Nick, the sweat sliding down his face, pooling at Nick's shoulder and neck. “Nick...Nick, please...i can't...it hurts. Oh God, it hurts so bad.”

“Shh...” Nick rubbed his lover's back soothingly, rocking them back and forth. “I got you, baby. Just...can you hold on a little longer?” _Don't leave me just yet_ , he thought. Nick tried not to let the fear overwhelm him, but with Jimmy's time running short, it couldn't be helped. He was scared. Scared because he knew this was it.

“I...i can't, Nick, please...help me. Don't let me, i don't want to...”

“Just a little longer, shh.”

Nick was being selfish, he knew that...but having to let go of Jimmy was hard. Hardest thing he'd have to do in his entire life.

So he held him a little longer, trying to focus on his lover's breathing, trying not to pull away even though the heat radiating from his body was too much.

He didn't want to let go.

But he had to.

 

When Jimmy started seeing things that weren't there because of the high fever, Nick had tried to calm him down, tried to tell him that he was going to be okay.

“Look at me, baby, hey...” Nick held Jimmy's chin over his palm, biting his lip at the way his lover's bright blue eyes had turned grayish and glossy. Wouldn't be long now. “I'll make it better, alright? You trust me, don't you?”

Jimmy wasn't even looking at him, his gaze fixated on something, probably someone that wasn't even there. “I see them, i see...”He smiled. “I see Claire, she's okay. She's grown so big.”

“Jimmy, she's not...” But how could he break the illusion when Jimmy, his Jimmy, was long past saving? Better let him have it, right? “Yeah...i see her.”

“I think...i'd like to go with her now. Nick? Can i?” Jimmy asked, still not looking at him.

And the blond tried not to break down and cry, he had to be strong, especially now. “You can.”

Jimmy smiled again and craddled Nick's face with shaking fingers, leaning to kiss his forehead. Nick knew he wasn't lucid anymore, but that loving gesture had him crying again. “Then...let me go.”

Nick swallowed the dry lump in his throat, his heart clenching so hard, it felt it was going to burst through his chest.

The blond reached for Jimmy's gun and for a moment, he felt he wasn't there. Felt he was nothing but a spectator, watching an horror movie.

“I'll see you soon, baby.” Nick tried to smile as he lifted the gun to his lover's temple. “I love you.”

Jimmy didn't reply, he just tilted his head to the side in that cute manner Nick always loved, and grinned.

“I'm sorry.”

Nick closed his eyes and pulled the trigger.

Jimmy's lifeless body fell against him and Nick held him, the same way he had been holding him before. “I'm so sorry.” 

Crying, the blond pressed a kiss against Jimmy's bloody cheek, and brought the gun to his own head. “I'll see you soon.”

 

Nick pulled the trigger and the world faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you...-Cough-, liked it.


End file.
